(in)dependence

Ix is wholly dependent on an adult for most of daily life - when/what to eat, dressing (he can do it with prompting, even without but he would not care if he went out in pyjamas...). He is toilet trained but often needs reminding to go - and cannot wipe.

he knows what he wants and can do a lot, but he can't be left alone, as a typical 12 year old could.

meanwhile, I am dependent on a host of people to help run the days and weeks. His after school carers, his tranport to/from school.

school mornings are finely tuned - get everyone up, breakfast, teeth, dressed..all timed by cbeebies. during Big Barn Farm the bus calls (a missed call) and i take Ix to the bus. girls get ready and we jump in car to get to their school by 0840, drive back, park, hit tube to work.

last week the usual driver was sick and the replacement didn't know where he was going..i called the escort and it was clear they would be very late.

so..bundle Ix into car as well as girls, drive to their school, leave him in car, take girls to gate, back to car, drive to school. drive home, get tube -arrive late for work. school told me the others on bus arrived 1130 a.m.!

next day, i call escort after Big Barn Farm..she assures me she nearby and won't be so late. but they dont arrive til 0915 - meaning girls are late for school and I have to sign late notes. i am late for work etc. all so intertwined...

next day, bus arrives as BBF ends, phew..back to normal.

then there are the holidays, a few days playscheme for him, playscheme/friends for girls, all intertwined with who needs to be where and when. and when one link in the chain fails, quick thinking...like any family, but more so because Ix's arrangements are dependent on people who already know him - easy enough to call another parent to pick up girls in a crisis but you can't do that for him.

meanwhile, I have beome more independent. when living with the ex, technology was kept as a mystery only he could deal with...yet I've set up a desk top, installed software, and printer. easy!