encounter with the ex....

so EX came to doorstep with papers i needed to sign (still not sorted out financial separation, seeing barrister soon).

some bla bla about money we jointly liable for, needs to be paid end February - well i don't have the money, i am not paying that, . well neither am i... stalemate...

then - "it is so humiliating standing on the door step.."

well, last time you came in my house you smashed up my door with your fist...

"you know i really regret that, it should not have happened and it won't happen again..."

except - he didn't say that.

he said:

"well, I smashed my fist through your door because on that day you said to me that (bla bla bla).."

it isn't important what i had said - nothing can justify a violent reaction.

and nothing justifies continuing to believe in his entitlement to act aggressively 18 months later...

i said I am not going to discuss any more, goodbye.

he put his foot in the door so i could not shut it... "you are so abusive" he said.

I said, goodbye...he left.

today: message to the children:

"why dont you come to the cafe after school to see me. mummy can come too and have hot soup".

some game is being played....

this is the post-depressive phase...and it is scary.